It’s day 18 of my 31 Day Blog Challenge and I get to share with yall what I’m afraid of.
Honestly I am scared of growing older. I am scared to grow up because things get harder as you get older. There are more bills to pay, you are on your own in the big world. You have a 9-5 career, you start having kids and then having to support them. You have to worry about car insurance, health insurance, dental insurance, buying a house, and owning a car. There is so much you are responsible for when you get older and I don’t know if I am ready for all of that.
I am also scared to be a parent. Let me explain. I am not scared to actually have kids and start a family but I am scared to be a mom. I am scared that I won’t be a good mom or I will raise my kids wrong. I am scared I won’t be able to keep them safe, give them everything they need in life, teach them enough, and love them enough. I always wonder how my mom did it. I guess I just overthink it. Being a mom has this stigma and pressure following it everywhere and all eyes are on you and your babies. People are always judging you on how you raise your kids, how you punish them, spoil them, love them, and care for them. People will find anything to judge you about and I don’t want to be judged as a bad mother.
I am scared for the future in general. I am a planner, so I am always ready for anything and know what to do, well at least I feel like I do. But when I look far into the future it worries me because we have no idea of what’s going to happen to us and what’s to come. The not knowing scares me. Anything could happen! I am not ready for anything. I have to be ready for something specific. Sometimes I worry about what the next year will bring or even the next week because life surprises you every day and you never know what’s going to happen. And to me, that’s scary.
I am also afraid of failure. I am afraid of disappointing the people around me. I am scared to make the wrong decision. I am scared to do something wrong or answer a question wrong. I want to be successful and make my friends and family proud of me, but what if I can’t or don’t do that?
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On a more realistic note, I am scared of spiders. Yes, spiders. I am scared of any shape, size, and color of spider. They’re just so creepy I cannot bare to even look at one. Even typing about them right now is giving me chills and makes me feel uneasy. Thankfully I have D here to kill the spiders that come into the house. What would I do without him?
Share down below something you are afraid of.